Got a copy of my original before adoption certificate in the mail this week.
I couldn’t speak for a full 48 hours. It was so surreal.
I was real. I had a name. I had a family.
After decades of wondering who they were, what their names were, what my name was..It was right there.
my mothers name
my 1/2 brother, and my 1/2 sisters names…
my date of birth…all there.
so I did the next rational thing..I completely freaked out, and then started stalking them on FB. It’s a huge family. they seem so happy. I don’t think they even know I exist.
my birth mother only lived to 45. only record I could find of her was her death.we found the cemetery where she is buried, but I couldn’t find the obituary. I don’t know how she died.
She’s listed as having no children.
(but I’m here..I exist…)
I’m terrified to contact these people. i don’t even know if they would know anything about me. but I have to know how she died. I have to know if she died alone..if it was a suicide…I have to know. Maybe it’s a health thing…I dunno.
I have a brother. he’s 6 years older then me.
holy shit I have an older brother
and an older sister as well.
And my mom’s mom is still alive. I have a grandmother.
I have aunts and cousins and nieces n nephews…
And I’m just sitting here on the internet dumbfounded, too terrified that they are going to reject me to send a message…
holy shit..They exist.
I wonder if anyone knows I do.